Late > Never.

The movie has been out for about one month already, and chances are, if you’re reading this, that you’ve already seen it (probably more than once). Nonetheless, this post is swimming with spoilers. Fair warning.

cue: "Chop and Change" by The Black Keys.... now.

Today’s post will be my reaction to a little known movie called Eclipse. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Well, if you haven’t I’m pretty sure you’ve been living in a bat cave. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’ve already seen the movie numerous times. Enough times to know when Edward and Alice will appear on the screen to put my panties in a twist. I’m going to go ahead and assume you all know the character names and if you don’t, well – like Edward said, “You can Google it.”

because we all want our google search to be beautiful?

Before getting into detail about my likes and dislikes about the movie, I’ll give my general broad opinion on the film. One word – FANTASTIC! It is by far the best book-to-film adaptation of all three films. With Twilight, I felt like Catherine MarijuanaWicke made up her own story and put in a few tidbits of the book (which weren’t at all the same, just SOMEWHAT similar). For New Moon, Chris Weitz did a spectacular job capturing the emotional roller coaster Bella was on and the developing friendship (hear that Team Jacob-ers? FRIENDship) between Bella and Jacob *gag*. Eclipse, directed by David Slade, had a COMPLETELY different vibe and had an equal balance of romance and action with a hint of thrill/mystery. The best part, MOST of the book was kept in the film. A lot of the dialogue and emotions in the book were transferred perfectly to the screen. Now, let’s get to the nitty gritty shall we?

Stephenie Meyer vs. Melissa Rosenberg...

Briefly starting with the script… there were some things they did (*cough cough* BELLA getting on Jake’s bike IN FRONT OF EDWARD! *cough cough*) Yeah, Bella would NEVER do something like that in front of Edward. No, she’d do it behind Edward's back, wait for Alice to see it (or NOT see it in this case) and deal with Edward after. Just saying. Mostly everything was good though. Script wise, this was the best and had the least amount of random things (for example: a 16 year old saying things like ‘General pale-ness and lack of know-how’ & ‘DON’T get me upset, things can get VERY ugly’). Also, I’m so very happy there were no letters sent to Alice’s imaginary e-mail address. One of the greatest things about this film was Bella narrating to herself and to the audience. We got in Bella’s head without thinking she was a psycho. All in all, Melissa Fuckenberg gets a B+ for this script.

BIFFLES !!! can we please have an Alice-esque slumber party together?!

Now that THAT's out of the way let's get into something more complex... With more money comes more responsibility. That statement couldn’t be truer than on this particular movie set—starting with hair and makeup. I will say this—the vampires looked less like statues and more normal. If I were in Forks High School, I would no longer be weirded out by their appearance like I would’ve been in the Twilight days. We said good-bye to Edward’s Tweed coat and Alice’s weird vest/chonga jeans ensemble or peasant dress (hello, i thought she was supposed to be SUPER fashionable?) followed by Jasper and his hairstyle made of pubic hair with a white jacket that should’ve stayed in the 80’s to better less conspicuous things…

is Emmett holding a Ziploc bag of GIANT... MARSHMALLOWS? O_o

We put Edward in normal 17 year old clothes like jeans, HOT, SEXY V-Necks, and sneakers. Those days where Edward wore hot pink lipstick and Elmer’s glue for foundation are long gone.

TwiWard vs. EclipseWard: no longer a make up ad.

Alice wore cute jeans, and HOT leather ensembles with the cutest bob haircut yet. Speaking of hair, HOW ABOUT THOSE GREAT HAIR DO’S HUH?! ....... ::crickets:: alright. By Hair Do’s I meant Hair Don’ts. THOSE DAMN WIGS. TwiFans everywhere should have a bonfire dedicated to the burning all of those awful wigs! Wig Fails  Bella, then on to Carlisle and ending with Victoria.

the Joan Jett role was actually MADE for Stewy.. JS.

Obviously Kristen needed to wear a wig because she filmed Eclipse in her Joan Jett Bad-Assed-ness days. Her wig was great throughout the whole movie. She looked more beautiful than in the rest of the films, but was the Snooki bump-it wig REALLY necessary during the fight training scene?

It's obvious Bella uses Snooki's BUMP IT.

Victoria’s wig? ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY. They tried to make Bryce Dallas Howard look so much like Rachelle Lefevre that they gave her this terrible wig she didn’t even need. HELLO! BRYCE HAS RED HAIR ALREADY!!!!! SHE DOESN’T NEED ONE! Just style the hair she already possesses and be on your way Hair and Make-Up team! GAH!

No Bryce, we cannot curl your own red hair. We'll give fake hair a perm and put it on your head..

Continuing with the wigs, PAPA CULLEN AND HIS KEN WIG! What was up with that. I will say that his hair in Twilight was BY FAR the best looking. His hair looked like it drowned in hairspray and just stayed stiff looking like a heap of plastic.

hot Doctor stayed back in Portland with Cathy Hardi having a WILD time..

That's what I have for now... Part 2 of my reaction to Eclipse is coming up soon so stay tuned. I know, so LATE! But, I'm gonna try harder to update more often. :) Part two will discuss why I've switched teams.. No longer Team Robward.. O_O